Choose Your Own Rules for the Christmas Season

We’re into December, a time of slight madness for many of the human species. Black Friday sales have been and gone. The planet is burdened with more junk and demand. Humans grow further from simplicity again. And many parents are either counting down to the end of the school year or under whatever pressure the Christmas season may bring.

It takes a strong sense of self to step away from the madness, but it’s possible.

(This applies to any time of year, not just Christmas.)

For us in Australia, this wind down of the school year into Christmas also coincides with the commencement of the summer holidays. It’s a lot! Especially when you add the Aussie heat to the mix.

For some people, this is a heart-breaking time of year as they grieve someone they’ve lost or grieve a love they needed but never found from within their own family unit.

There are all sorts of reasons it can be hard (regardless of spiritual beliefs).

If that is the case for you this year, I wish you strength but I also give you permission to do this season however it needs to fit you best for peace.

Christmas used to be incredibly painful for me as I kept setting myself up for trauma, putting myself in positions where I wasn’t welcomed but wanted so much to be.

Thankfully, that all healed over time and there’s no way I would ever do that now. My boundaries are much healthier, so is my self-kindness! I’m excited for this one: our first Christmas in our little home with three generations celebrating together.

There was one Christmas long ago when I’d gone to my home town for a family Christmas, only to discover I wasn’t welcome at one of my sibling’s homes, where the lunch was that year. My sin had been speaking up for myself to another sibling earlier in the year. Things changed during the day and that other sibling decided not to go to the lunch for other reasons, so I was then re-invited to the original lunch! I declined.

That was the turning point for me. I realised I would be happier at my parent’s home alone, playing my guitar and chilling out, and then enjoying a special evening meal with the two of them later, instead of trying to force a group that still needed too much healing to feel united for one day.

It was the start of me loving Christmas and doing it completely on my own terms.

Of course, with a daughter now, and one who never contains her excitement over anything, it’s a fun time. But there have been plenty of other great ones too before she arrived, spent with the family members who naturally loved me or with friends.

No family is perfect but the pressure to be so at this time of year can be heavy.

While blood ties are strong, no adult is obliged to spend their time with people who don’t treat them with loving respect, whether family or not.

Our time is a sacred gift and while some relationships can certainly heal over time, others never will. We can’t all be at the same level of development and healing as each other, despite good intentions.

Whatever the next month or so looks like for you, I wish you the courage to handle it with grace and with choices that will treat you with love.

Bronnie.

PS. The next vlog will be a little early this month because of the season. So there will be a short newsletter upon its release to let you know. (There won’t be a newsletter on Christmas Eve, a fortnight from this one’s release.) The vlog is developing beautifully in directions that seem to be dictated by the wildlife. Bless them! Thanks to those of you who are tuning into its evolution. A friend said the other day that it’s like watching a female David Attenborough film. I’m not sure about that, but I don’t see this vlogging journey ending anytime soon. It’s a form of storytelling that brings me joy and we have to notice those things that do and honour them.

On 1^st January, the release of 100 Daily Prompts for No Regrets begins. They’re 2 - 3-minute videos that will support you to strengthen your courage, your self-kindness, and reduce regrets. They’re also free! I’ll let you know when they start filtering out.

Love to you in the meantime.

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